Sardar Singh Jokes Attack Part 2; Biggest ever sardar jokes collection...

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Sardar Singh Jokes Attack Part 2; Biggest ever sardar jokes collection...

Post by Admin on Wed Mar 26, 2008 1:58 pm

SOME SECRETS OF PAKISTAN ARMY

How do you stop a Pakistani tank ? Shoot the men who are pushing it.

How do you disable a Pakistani tank? Hide the wind-up key.

How do you disable Pakistani missiles? Cut the rubber band.

Pakistani Air Force officials have recently motioned for a name change for the PAF. They want to call it the PMC, the Pakistani Mining Corps. This is because their planes end up in the ground anyway.

Pakistani military researchers have recently ordered for the enlargement of the hatches on tanks and other armoured vehicles. This is so they can be more easily abandoned in enemy territory.

Have you ever seen Pakistani war heroes? Neither has Pakistan.

Did you hear about the latest Pakistani invention? It's a solar powered flashlight.

Did you hear about the other latest Pakistani invention? The new automatic parachutes. They open on impact.

How do you sink a Pakistani battleship?

Put it in water.

Did you hear about the 747 jet which crashed into a cemetery in Karachi? The Pakistani officials have so far recovered 3000 bodies.

Did you hear about the Pakistani admiral who had asked to be buried at sea? Five Pakistani sailors died digging his grave.

Did you hear about the other tragedy in Karachi ? There was a terrible power cut in Karachi's Four Square Shopping Mall. People were stuck on the escalator for four hours.

Did you hear about the Pakistani family that froze to death outside a theatre ? They were waiting to see the movie "Closed for the winter".

Did you hear about the Pakistani helicopter crash ? The pilot felt cold, so he turned off the fan.

Why do Pakistani dogs have flat noses ? They get it from chasing parked cars.

Did you hear about the Pakistani who studied diligently for five days ? He was scheduled to take a medical test.

Did you hear about the shutdown of the Karachi National Library ? Somebody stole the book.

SOME ROMANTIC COUNTRIES OF THE WORLD

These are some of the romantic countries in the world.

H.O.L.L.A.N.D. -Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies. I.T.A.L.Y. -I Trust And Love You. L.I.B.Y.A. -Love Is Beautiful; You Also. F.R.A.N.C.E. -Friendships Remain And Never Can End. C.H.I.N.A. -Come Here.. I Need Affection. B.U.R.M.A. -Between Us, Remember Me Always. N.E.P.A.L. -Never Ever Part As Lovers.

I.N.D.I.A. -I Nearly Died In Adoration. K.E.N.Y.A. -Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing. C.A.N.A.D.A. -Cute And Naughty Action that Developed into Attraction. K.O.R.E.A. -Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every Adversity. E.G.Y.P.T. -Everything's Great, You Pretty Thing! M.A.N.I.L.A. -May All Nights Inspire Love Always. T.H.A.I.L.A.N.D -Totally Happy. Always In Love And Never Dull. GREAT TO BE AN INDIAN

You may be aware of that after IT now India moving towards Biotechnology. According to one research India will emerge as a super power in IT & Medical research by 2025.

Q. Who is the Co-founder of Sun Microsystems? (The company which is sweeping the Internet with its brainchild Java) A. Vinod Khosla Q. Who is the Creator of Pentium Chip? (Needs no introduction, 90% of the today's computers run on it) A. Vinod Dahm Q. Who is the third richest person on the world? A. According to the latest report on Fortune Magazine, it is Azim Premji, CEO, Wipro. The Sultan of Brunei is at 6th position now. Q. Who is the current president of AT&T Bell Labs? (AT & T Bell Labs is the creator of C, C++, Unix to name a few) A. Arun Netravalli Q. Who is the founder and creator of Hotmail? (Hotmail is world's No. 1 web based email program) A. Sabeer Bhatia Q. Who is the GM of Hewlett Packard? A. Rajiv Gupta Q. Who is the Testing Director of Windows 2000?

A. Sanjay Tejwrika We are known as the Indian Mafia (or Internet Mafia?).

We are the wealthiest among all ethnic groups in America, even faring better than the whites and the natives. We are the success story in America.

Let the world know what we stand for.

!"There are 3.22 Million Indians in America. !"38% of Doctors in America are Indians. !"12% of Scientists in America are Indians. !"36% of NASA employees are Indians. !" 34% of MICROSOFT employees are Indians !"28% of IBM employees are Indians !"17% of INTEL employees are Indians !"13% of XEROX employees are Indians.

Some of these facts may be known to you. These facts were recently published in a German Magazine which deals with WORLD

HISTORY FACTS ABOUT INDIA.

A. India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history. B. India invented the Number System. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta. C. The World's first university was established in Takshila in 700BC. More than 10,500 students from all over the world studied more than 60 subjects. The University of Nalanda built in the 4th century BC was one of the greatest achievements of ancient India in the field of education. D. Sanskrit is the mother of all the European languages. Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software reported in Forbes magazine, July 1987. E. Ayurveda is the earliest school of medicine known to humans. Charaka, the father of medicine consolidated Ayurveda 2500 years ago. Today Ayurveda is fast regaining its rightful place in our civilization.

F. Although modern images of India often show poverty and lack of development, India was the richest country on earth until the time of British invasion in the early 17th Century. G. The art of Navigation was born in the river Sindh 6000 years ago. The Very word Navigation is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH. The word navy is also derived from Sanskrit 'Nou'. H. Bhaskaracharya calculated the time taken by the earth to orbit the sun hundreds of years before the astronomer Smart.; Time taken by earth to orbit the sun: (5th century) 365.258756484 days. I. The value of pi was first calculated by Budhayana, and he explained the concept of what is known as the Pythagorean Theorem. He discovered this in the 6th century long before the European mathematicians. J. Algebra, trigonometry and calculus came from India; Quadratic equations were by Sridharacharya in the 11th Century; The largest numbers the Greeks and the Romans used were 106 (10 to the power of 6) whereas Hindus used numbers as big as 1053(10 to the power of 53) with specific names as early as 5000 BCE during the Vedic period. Even today, the largest used number isTera 1012(10 to the power of 12). K. According to the Gemological Institute of America, up until 1896, India was the only source for diamonds to the world. L. USA based IEEE has proved what has been a century-old suspicion in the world scientific community that the pioneer of Wireless communication was Prof. Jagdeesh Bose and not Marconi. M. The earliest reservoir and dam for irrigation was built in Saurashtra. N. According to Saka King Rudradaman I of 150 CE a beautiful lake called 'Sudarshana' was constructed on the hills of Raivataka during Chandragupta Maurya's time. O. Chess (Shataranja or AshtaPada) was invented in India.

P. Sushruta is the father of surgery. 2600 years ago he and health scientists of his time conducted complicated surgeries like cesareans, cataract, artificial limbs, fractures, urinary stones and even plastic surgery and brain surgery. Usage of anesthesia was well known in ancient India. Over 125 surgical equipment were used. Deep knowledge of anatomy, physiology, etiology, embryology, digestion, metabolism, genetics and immunity is also found in many texts. Q. When many cultures were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindhu Valley(Indus Valley Civilization) R. The place value system, the decimal system was developed in India in 100 BC. QUOTES ABOUT INDIA

A. Albert Einstein said: We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made. B. Mark Twain said: India is the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. Our most valuable and most constructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only. C. French scholar Romain Rolland said: If there is one place on the face of earth where all the dreams of living men have found a home from the very earliest days when man began the dream of existence, it is India. D. Hu Shih, former Ambassador of China to USA said: India conquered and dominated China culturally for 20 centuries without ever having to send a single soldier across her border. All the above is just the TIP of the iceberg, the list could be endless. SOME BLADE JOKES

Ramu : I've just become a member of Rotract Club. Somu : public member or private?

Ramu : Hey.. my submarine is not sinking into the water!! what could be wrong? Somu : may be u have used float instead of double in the software.

PS : Hey Bull, Can you do me a favor? Can you pass on these 500 rupees to Suthi..? Bull : Sure.. why not? But tell me one thing. Tell me whether its pass by value or pass by

reference. PS : ???!!!

Ramu : I am very very sure that the guy who just talked to me is a software engineer... Somu : how do u say that? Ramu : he asked my physical address instead of my home address!

Ramu : shhhh...I think the SW Engg who is sitting in the next cabin must be a farmer before ... Somu : How do u know...? Ramu : he asked me today that is there a way to cultivate the bit fields..!!

Computer : Please sit over the hard disk to compress the files!

Computer : please pour Engine oil in the floppy drive to enhance the performance of Search Engine.

Ramu : why people are beating that SW engg black and blue? Somu : it seems, he asked one of them that whether "vante mataram" is new kind of RAM in the

market!

Ramu : Hey.. I think that SW Engg is very very naive.. Somu : How do u say that? Ramu : He believes that there is an Arabian Sea++ next to Arabin Sea.

Ramu : Hey.... whats time now? Somu : System time or local time...??

Ramu : Hey.. I have a problem. My system is not booting up! Somu : may be, its internal buses are on strike.. check out!

Ramu : (while browsing the TV) what is this? I have heard of Star Sports, Star Movies and Star P Plus. Whats this Star Equals??? Is it a new Star Channel? Somu : No. = operator has been overloaded in Star Channel.

Geetha : I think that SW Engg is very naive.. Seetha : how do u say that? Geetha : He believes "Rascal" is a new version of Pascal!

Ramesh : Hey.. u know.. Micorsoft Visual C++ 5.0 has got everything... The Developer Studio can really do magic... Umesh : Can we use that to develop the photo-negatives?

Ramu : why are u wiping ur terminal very often with a cloth? Somu : clear command is not working properly for my terminal. that's why?

Babu : yesterday I bought a new TV whose terminal is compatible with computer... but its audio portion is not at all working :- Gopu : may be its compatible only with dumb terminals???

Vani : We have shifted our home to Malleswaram now.. Soni : right shift or left shift??

Kannamma : do u have Design Specs for brinjal sambar? Ponnamma : u mean recipe..?

Ramu : Somu, I am going to file a case against my landlord yaar. He's harassing me too much. Somu : What case? Upper Case or Lower Case or.......

Vanish : Hey.. why is that sardaarji inserting a cover into the floppy drive?

Bull : He wants to send an e-mail it seems! Software DT in Heaven Ramu running... Somu bounces back! : : hey.. I couldn't send a mail to Hell today... it says mail "demon" not ur case is better.. for me, it says "ghost not reachable" and SOFTWARE HUSBAND Husband logged in." Wife Husband Wife Husband Wife Husband : : : : ( Returning late form work ) "Good evening Dear, I'm now Have you brought the ring ? : Bad command or filename. But I told you in the morn... : Erroneous syntax. What about my new blouse ? : Variable not found ... Wife : Husband Wife : funny ? Husband Wife : Husband Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping. : Sharing Violation. Access denied ... Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being : Too many parameters. Abort!... It was a grave mistake that I married an idiot like you. : Data type mismatch. You are a useless nut. Husband Wife Husband : : Default Parameter. What about your Salary ? : Access denied. File in use... Wife Husband : Who was in the car this morning ? : System unstable. Press CTRL + ALT + DEL to Reboot


KANNADA MOVIES

A sample of Kannada movies produced by Kannada Software Engineers:

CHATsod tappa..? Ondu E-MAILina kathe A.S.P Sangilyana REDO raja UNDOnu maadida DELEToo maadida Muttinantha OFFER Naanu nanna PC DOLLLAR alegalu JAVAda Jodi CORBAna rani IT Hudugara kannu US myaage CHAT maadu Tamaashe Nodu Chalisuva BRAINugalu MAINFRAME Dhruvadim JAVA Dhruvaku Gadibidi ENGINEER Onde SYSTEMna MODULEgalu Baa Nalle Usge PROGRAMMERara Sawaal COMPANY COMPANY kathe Shri BILL GATES Mahime Bhakta SABIR Das INSPECTOR Narayana Murty Koodi CODING maadidare swarga sukha PMna avaantara Veera SYBASE Lakshman PMge takka PROGRAMMER MODEM Bazaar JDBC bale ( A 007 movie) Operation E-MAIL HACKER NIAGARA teeradalli HASIRU PATRA NEWJERSEY MICROSOFTna musuku JAVA nanna JAVA PREMJI kaanike LOGON Death Lady PROGRAMMER E-Preethse

Ondanondu COLLUMNnalli Eradu NETWORKgalu PB Ganda VB Hendthi BUGDevathe MS Mallige Messanger Muttanna Abachoorina INBOX CHATsu Tappenilla..! SYSTEMge Sawaal HACKERana Sanchu SILICON swapnagalu Nammur IT Parke A FRIEND

A Friend....

(A)ccepts you as you are (B)elieves in "you" (C)alls you just to say "HI" (D)oesn't give up on you (E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts) (F)orgives your mistakes (G)ives unconditionally (H)elps you (I)nvites you over (J)ust "be" with you (K)eeps you close at heart (L)oves you for who you are (M)akes a difference in your life (N)ever Judges (O)ffers support (P)icks you up (Q)uiets your fears (R)aises your spirits (S)ays nice things about you (T)ells you the truth when you need to hear it (U)nderstands you (V)alues you (W)alks beside you (X)-plains things you don't understand (Y)ells when you won't listen and (Z)aps you back to reality
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